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DATE: 9th November 2005 Word up! Reo-"da main man"-Furdnan, back once again in full effect, boyeeee! ready to rock you with another entry in my diary! big up all my mandemz out dere in da man u massive, i just give you all a big shout out, you know who you are! (plus me dont remember any of your names!). i gotz to say fankyou very much for all da peepz wot give me burfday presentz yesterday... ...all your presents was robbish though! in future if youz gonna get me suttin like a CD, whatever, yeah? den get me one like da new skool album dat i showed youz, innit? coz only student and ting listen to dat kind of stupid old skool music, i dont know why, maybe their brainz cant hacclimatize to da future we are livin in or suttin! |
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anyway, yesterday was a well hectic day. well random, yeah? keano says to me "oi! reo, why you never invitez me out for your burfday, huh?" i just shrugged at man, like "whatever!" and den when he turned round i said "cos you iz bwatty! innit?" he was chasin me for time, yeah? saying "yo man, i iz gonna get you bad style!" but i was feeling well fast so i was calling him bare names, saying fingz like "shut up you lickle potato licker! bookah! bookah!" his face was going well red, innit! man was going sick! but den i started to trip, and i look down, me forgot to tie me shoelace dis morning! so me fall over, and den keano catches me up and he stamps on me and he shouts "stick that up your b-----ks you peckum c---!" i said to him "roy man, dont even make no sense you know" but i couldnt finish hexplaining because he got me in another headlock and it was difficult to talk...
later on, i tried to shift da rest of dat nine-bar. me and my main man "peeny-man" went out in my car. peeny-man iz a proper top guy. all top headz need a side-kick, like scarface and dat guy who he tellz what to do, carlos and fergie (i'm not sure which iz which out of dem though), T-2000 and john connor, etc. peeny-man iz my right hand man, nah!! not literally, i already told you me not like dat! but peeny-man iz a wicked guy, he do me washing for me, he wash da dishes too, anyfing! he remembers stuff for me, so dat i dont have to waste my brain energies. he's kind of lke dat guy out of quantum leap called al, i'm sam beckett, i dont know who ziggy is though, anton probably.
yo man, i just heard a siren, i'm gonna have to jet, because 5-0 is after me!
bookah!
keep it real guys!
DATE: 10th November 2005
Wassup?! guess who's back in da motherloving house? yeah datz right, its me- reo- again!
i said to carlos (da gaffa) "Yo man! me cant be bothered wiv dis diary no more, trust! writing dat fing iz time dat could be better spent flexing gal, ya get me?" he said "keano, where are you?..." so here i am again. nice one.
now youz guyz knowz- reo can respond bestest to any criticism. (except calling my mum, dat makes me like marty mcfly in back to da future 1, 2 and 3 when people call him "chicken!" ya get me?). anyway, carlos says to me "reo, why you never score?" i said "i alwayz score, i got a gram last night, innit?" den he sayz " no i never meant like dat!" and den i said "oh! i scored wid some bum gal last week, innit? i was flexing her for time, yeah? we even did da vicky beckum love, ya get me? ayyeeee! trust" and den carlos says to me "yo reo, are you a mong or suttin? i mean why you never score no goal? innit? also you act like a bwattyman when its time for man u to score from a corner" i said "dont call me a bwattyman, i'll blaart you ina your face, wa-bang!" he said "reo! i am da gaffa at dis club, talk to me like dat agin and i'll send you back to leedz!" so i shut my mout.
anywayz, i was doing shot practise wiv my mate timmy. heverybody calls him timmy tourettes, i dont know why. but he has some disease that makes him pull faces and shout out wordz, so i call him timmy da proper mong! i always shout "TIMMAH!" at him like da lickle mandem out of souf park. he finds it well funny, he pretendz not to like it and he callz me names, but datz just da banter of da dressing room. you fanz wouldnt understand!
anywayz, where woz i? oh yeah, i was having bare shotz on tim, and i kept missing some of dem and he kept shoutin tingz at me like "robbish!" "useless!" "greedy!" "moron!" "wannabe-gangsta-tw@!" i said "tim i know you have a disease, but dont say dat about yourself!" it was well funny.
me and peeny-man both agreed it was proper funny. me and him were chattin, yeah? and i saidz to him about how i met trevor brooking, and peeny-man tells me its "SIR trevor brooking!" i was like "raas! nah man! dat guy has got a knighthood? what for? talking bulls**t ona da telly? fair enough my cousin les has one but if boring trev should have one, reo definately should!" peeny-man sayz "innit? cos you iz da new bobby moore, trust!" i said "except i never got caught! bookah! bookah!" so come everybody , help me get what i deserve, letz start a campaign, petitionz and everyting!
now, me and peeny-man went to da pub to celebrate my wicked idea. but you know what? dey didnt even have no crystaal in dere! believe! so i asked for cravaseeyay, dey didnt have dat. so i jetted home. when i got back i realised i had missed my 2nd favourite programme- macintyres toughests towns. my 3rd favourite programme iz da sopranos, and my 1st favourite iz worlds deadliest gangz, which iz presented by my bredrin goldie. (big up da walsall massive!). anyway, i rang wes, he said dey never even mentioned da furdnanz on it. i was gutted. one of da bestest tingz bout manchester iz dat dere iz nuff gangz, but in my short time here my crew already run tingz in dis city. i've got to big up all my associates by da way- gooch, doddington, da noonanz, young longsight soldiers, da pollardz (got marpol security on my gaff), da clearyz, da wardz, da mcdonaghz, da moorez, da lawless'z, cheetham hill gang and all my yardie bredrin on da souf-side!
BIG UP!
trust! believe! PEACE!
DATE: 11th November 2005
Hollah!! Yo, dis iz reo furdnan da don of defence for man u and hingland, soon to be sir reo!! watta gwarnin wid youz guyz? some of youz may have read my diary yesterday...
...here iz a phrase i invented "same sh!t, different day!" ya get me?
now seri-aye (dat mean "serious" ina da slang) a lot of peepz have been asking me da same question over and over and over and over and over and over and even more overer!
ya get me? fair enuff, da man u massiv iz very concerned. well let me answah da question - "wot da f--k iz goin on wit a man like wez brownz bumberclart afro?" Now some of youz really need to the learn da 1st golden rule of pimpology- if you are bad enough you can look like anyting and man can't make fun of you coz you are proper bad and you can spark dem in dere face - BRAP! BRAP! BRAP!- and dey will shut up and den you can say "now you best stop talking robbish about me!" and den dey say "ok reo, i'm sorry, you are da man!" and den you say "its ok roy, but i'm da captain now, watch!"
look at snoop D-O-double-G when he looked like a secretary, he looked well bwatty but no-one said nuffin coz snoop iz a sick guy, ya get me? anyway, so wez iz a bwad-bwoy, dat iz why he haz got a sick haircut. true-say! aye!
anyway, today i am in swizzland coz i have to play for hingland but we aint playing swizzland we iz playing argentina. it dont make no sense to me, but like wotever, dog! i dont know where dey are anyway. peeny-man (he told me to tell you dat he aint my agent, he's a super agent! he fink he iz james bond or suttin! raas!), peeny-man wanted to come to swizzland wit me, he wanted me to open another bank account, but i told him he has to stay back in wilmslow and look after ragga my dog and tidy my house. da east wing iz well messy!
now one of reo's favourite foodz iz swizz roll. i love it! some days i can eat 5 of dem, my record iz 7 and a half though! so i thought where better to eat swizz roll dan swizzland, but i had a look- theres no greggz anywhere! i dont know where dey sell it. at least roy keane aint here, i'm gonna go sick on him one day, i tell ya! he's too facey! true-say!
whatever, yeah? so me and my hingland team were driving round on a coach going to da training (yeah right! like reo need to practice! laugh) and i was sat at da back wiv my mandem ashley (his gal iz well fit, believe! but i fink she only going out wiv him to get to reo. trust! how do i tell him...?). anyway, me and ashley were listenin to tupac on my ipod and i spat on da floor. dat sven gordon ericson guy seen me do it and he went sick! he started shouting at me, going sick! trying to proper show off infront of all da other players, wazza was proper laughing at me. but i shut him up proper bad style- i said to him "Yo sven, you know how you sh*gged my auntie shaneece at my burfday party da other day? well she used to be my uncle! his name was nigel!" dat sven guy went proper white, he didnt say nuttin!
i might be dropped for da hingland game though..
whatever, laterz!
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